Dear Contemplatives,
If you are committed to the contemplative journey, you will most certainly discover territory of disillusionment. In simplest terms, this is when WHO you think you are and what you know comes into question. Disillusionment often arises before a breakthrough and is one of the most important and yet difficult aspects of the path. It is here that people begin to turn away, numb out, and want to "roll up the mat."
It is easy to set intentions for awakenings, but is much harder to stick to it when experience becomes difficult and we actually start to receive what we asked for. The whole container of the body, heart, and mind in these periods starts to break open, but before the clarity dawns it can feel HORRIBLE. There can be increased patterns of doubt, fear, and confusion. The body corresponds with sensations that are quite painful and we may feel lost. Remember, this is part of the process which does YOU. We must learn to be with the sensations of disillusionment before there is a reorganization of being or an AH HA! It will come.
If you would like additional support or if you're ready to jump in- I'm co-leading a new Buddhist Geeks Heart Hacking Life Retreat which kicks off on June 21st. I also wrote an article which you may find interesting called "Insight Meditation: Present, Open, & Aware" for the July issue of Shambhala Sun.
Most of all, keep practicing and let the LOVE in!
With love,
Emily