Em-Slice

No One Was Cracking the Koans
Tukaram

No one was cracking the koans
He had tattooed
everywhere

So God changed His tactics–He developed a sweet tooth
and started chatting
about love

He knew that really would not work and sure enough things
got worse–for a fine rebellious bunch we are.

This time people started stockpiling nukes,
and lawsuits plagued the land, and smog put a full nelson
on our lungs,

and T.V hijacked brains, which caused millions to vote
Republican–
WoW–

and all because we couldn’t
bust a couple
koans

The speed and intensity in which we live in this world is out of control. Things are going at hyper speed and the more we get accomplished in a day is regarded with high esteem. Maximizing our human potential would in itself create tremendous results, but when does that step over the line and become just another way to fill the bottomless pit. What is the bottomless pit and what can really fill I up? Also, what are our intentions in rushing around?

The longing is in our hearts and there are moments in which we tune into this deep sadness of not knowing who we are and what this life is all about. When we do things in service of others we can potentially become connected to what it really means to be alive in this world. When we do things for ourselves we can potentially be of more service to others. However, either of these things can just be another thing to do in order to solidify our own sense of self or to make ourselves better. When the heart is not involved, it becomes just another way to be the best personality and win a game that has no winner. We put on faces for each other. We try hard to know the most, feel the most, and accomplish the most. Sometimes for others and sometimes for ourselves. Sometimes breaking through individual barriers and creating from infinity. While at other times riding the waves of samsara and wishing that for just one brief moment, something would fill this void. We fill it with doing, with Internet, with food, with traveling. Sometimes we don’t even realize it exists.

What would we do if there were nothing left to fill it? If what we are wanting is not out there to accomplish or to have?

Since I returned from two months of silent meditation, several things have been screaming for integration. With each day something else falls into place. Integration comes in several different stages and can be frustrating from a personal standpoint. Especially since my worldview changed radically while on retreat. However, it is not something I can force or control. It is more of a process that tends to congeal gradually like Jell-O. At first it was very overwhelming and there were times where I felt completely lost in this vast world. It was like I knew too much to live in a world that still contains massive amounts of ignorance.

When I look around, I admire the ones that take a stand for the truth of whom we are. It is not an easy task and cannot be done from a place of anger. Those of us who are deeply invested in serving the world will be of most service if the anger is seen, felt, heard, and released. Causes no matter how great, when fueled by anger only create more separation and suffering. The more we realize the parts of ourselves that are angry, the less power those parts of us have and the less they can sabotage our work/lives. I realized while on retreat that there are many layers to anger. It is an explosive energy that needs out of the body. Sometimes I would cry from the pain underneath, sometimes I would hike, and sometimes I would dance. The more I acknowledged, felt, and released then freer I became. This can be true for any emotion. The trick is to know we can hold them.

I fill up with beautiful sorrow
The beating of heart
Comforting the lives
Of the amazing human

Living the only thing one has
In the only home for this life
Going to the places where many dare not to go
Behind the depths of the mind

The fear goes away
As the mind eases
The self fades
All is there

Em-Slice

The Seed Cracked Open: Hafiz

It used to be
That when i would wake in the morning
I could with confidence say,
“What am ‘I’ going to
Do?”

That was before the seed
Cracked open.

Now Hafiz is certain:

There are two of us housed
In this body,

Doing the shopping together in the market and
Tickling each other
While fixing the evening’s food.

Now when I awake
All the internal instruments play the same music:

“God, what love-mischief can ‘We’ do
For the world
Today?”