Em-Slice

According to World Public Opinion.org, Americans support an increase in taxes to support developing nations, but only if other countries are doing their part. It turns out that most Americans believe that as a country we do more than other developed nations. However, the fact is that the United States has one of the lowest rates of giving per GNP (gross domestic product). This assumption coupled with the stipulation that other countries need to contribute just as much, provides another way to justify that the United States is the stand alone savior that sounds somewhat like an off base martyrdom.

The fact that America consumes a huge amount of the earth’s natural resources and has one of the largest GNPs should be enough to encourage spending on those countries less developed. However, we spend even less while believe we spend the most. Perhaps some American’s are including the money being spent on the Iraq war. But we all know that isn’t really going toward sustainable development. Unfortunately, the US government seems preoccupied with other things besides meeting the Millennium Development Goals set by the UN.

The speed and intensity in which we live in this world is out of control. Things are going at hyper speed and the more we get accomplished in a day is regarded with high esteem. Maximizing our human potential would in itself create tremendous results, but when does that step over the line and become just another way to fill the bottomless pit. What is the bottomless pit and what can really fill I up? Also, what are our intentions in rushing around?

The longing is in our hearts and there are moments in which we tune into this deep sadness of not knowing who we are and what this life is all about. When we do things in service of others we can potentially become connected to what it really means to be alive in this world. When we do things for ourselves we can potentially be of more service to others. However, either of these things can just be another thing to do in order to solidify our own sense of self or to make ourselves better. When the heart is not involved, it becomes just another way to be the best personality and win a game that has no winner. We put on faces for each other. We try hard to know the most, feel the most, and accomplish the most. Sometimes for others and sometimes for ourselves. Sometimes breaking through individual barriers and creating from infinity. While at other times riding the waves of samsara and wishing that for just one brief moment, something would fill this void. We fill it with doing, with Internet, with food, with traveling. Sometimes we don’t even realize it exists.

What would we do if there were nothing left to fill it? If what we are wanting is not out there to accomplish or to have?

The question of the day: Is there a way to know truth? What is truth? How does one know what is truth? Aren’t we as humans a manifestation as truth?

• There is a way to know different levels of truth. Biologists study biology, psychologists study psychology, and mystics study the mind. Can these really be separated into separate truths or is there one that can encompass them all? Perhaps this is what integral theory attempts to do, while at the same time acknowledging that in order to have a complete picture, one must take on and look at their reality. That which is continually shaping and determining their worldview. Of course this assumes that there is a complete picture at any given point in time. However, at some point it might be understood that everything that takes place in the world is part of the overall searching for what and who this is. Perhaps even thinking that there is separation on the relative level and the nonpersonal level is creating a duality and implying that this world is not the only place to discover the potential of the universe.

• Nonetheless, the relative truth is always changing and evolving and it appears that evolution can only take place on the physical world. However, since the nonpersonal truth of the way things are seems to be linked to the way things are it would be easy to assume that this would evolve as well. Perhaps there are two things going on at the same time. The evolution of the human species and the evolution of consciousness as a whole. Neither of which can be separated from the other. However, the part that is changeless is important to understand in order to fully grasp the implications of evolution on the physical level and in order to see how all levels are influencing the whole. This is where there can be value in seeing the importance of our human potential and at what level we bring nonpersonal potentials into the physical plane. There is a tendency to reduce everything to either the spiritual aspect or the physical plane. To realize that they are not separate nor can they create at their potential without acknowledging one another is in itself a part of evolution. Perhaps even the next step.

When I was attending classes for my degree in Business Management, we learned about honoring diversity as a means of affecting the bottom line. By creating a diverse workforce, a company can harness human potential from different backgrounds. I also learned about the legal side of diversity and how a company needs to protect itself from law suits. These suits were becoming more and more common. However, to actually learn about how to interact with different cultures, you had to take extra classes at night. These classes were free and you could get a certificate.

Over the past few years, I have worked for a place that emphasizes diversity to the extreme. There are forums, classes, workshops, meetings, special task forces, and even a Chief Diversity Officer. The environment is extremely sensitive to political correctness, recruiting from different backgrounds, and white privilege. My question is when does all this importance on diversity actually begin to do more harm than good? When does it become patronizing and when does it actually become harder to be in the minority?

When I moved to Boulder three years ago, I had no idea what was in store for me. Over those years, I have grown so incredibly much in many different areas. One of these is in the area of relationships. I have never had the depth in relationships that I have created with certain people over the past few years. In the past, I held myself unworthy and never thought that anyone could/would be able to hold the depth that I so longingly craved. There was a part of me that was not ready to really put myself out there and to find my own voice. It has been a roller coaster and I am still not where I want to be. However, my nights of crying in the bathtub scared of meeting people of like mind are over. While I still have bouts of anxiety, I have pushed my boundaries enough that hopefully it won’t be as hard next time.

An important thing that I have learned is how much I value my relationships with my girlfriends. There is a power with women getting together and talking about life. There is also a sense of belonging and a sacredness that cannot be created without the presence of women. The intimate relationships created between lovers are different. They are special, intimate, and beautiful. However, the spark is for different reasons and the understanding is on a different level. I am honored to have such powerful independent women as friends and for them I am grateful.

There are only a few unique thoughts a person has in a day. I am not sure about the statistic, but I know there is research out there. The rest is like your favorite movie. I can’t tell you the number of times I have watched Pretty Woman. I know every move and word. I watched it with my best friend. She would be Richard Gere and I would be Julia Roberts. We were obsessed.

Seems like that is part of the way the mind works. It finds something and puts it on repeat. Is it just the nature of the mind and if we aren’t careful we will get mixed up in the movie? The line between commitment and obsession is hard to determine. One day I care about making good grades and the next day I am consumed. One day I care about my relationship and the next day I am consumed. This can go for work, TV shows, etc. Even our culture reflects this impulse.

Alright, it is pretty old news by now, but I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to write about Bush’s doctrine for US control of space. Not sure what he is trying to accomplish with this one. My immediate response was OMG here we go again. We must make space America’s final frontier. Iraq definitely isn’t working, so let’s move on to space. There must be tons and tons of other galaxies and dimensions to invade…..AND WE AREN’T SHARING. Space must be America’s! Long live expanding the empire! Well, I guess there is the thing about other countries bombing us that concerns Bush …..How come I’m not real worried?

Someone told me Kennedy tried to do the same thing, but I don’t know about that one

I have always been one to go after what I want. If I decide I would like to try something new, no matter how challenging, I will do it. It might take me a little while to prepare, but I can jump right in. Sometimes, I will need to ease into something big. Take meditation for instance, I started with a daily practice over 3 1⁄2 years ago and then went on weekend retreats. Once I felt like I needed more, I went on weeklong retreats. Now I am signed up for a two-month retreat. I am now jumping in and even though I may be in over my head for while, I trust that I can handle it.

My problem is trying to figure out what I want. There are so many interesting things and so many choices. I get overwhelmed and can spend way too much time going between ideas and possibilities. This can be my game for not having to take that chance, for not having to have that first time of something new. Traveling into the unknown is often painful for my ego. The first day of school, the first dance lesson, the first day off work. The list can go on and on. I also am in love with life. I love that I can do anything. I have to realize that there isn’t enough time to do everything. I need to narrow it down.

Then of course come the principles of commitment and dedication. I get over my anxiety and will try something new. It is continuing that I have a hard time with. The actual follow through seems to be beyond my grasp. I have no problem with starting and stopping. I allow my feelings to dictate and sooner or later I won’t feel like it. Perhaps this is the way it goes and eventually something will stick. We will see as I start this new blog.