Em-Slice

I have always been one to go after what I want. If I decide I would like to try something new, no matter how challenging, I will do it. It might take me a little while to prepare, but I can jump right in. Sometimes, I will need to ease into something big. Take meditation for instance, I started with a daily practice over 3 1⁄2 years ago and then went on weekend retreats. Once I felt like I needed more, I went on weeklong retreats. Now I am signed up for a two-month retreat. I am now jumping in and even though I may be in over my head for while, I trust that I can handle it.

My problem is trying to figure out what I want. There are so many interesting things and so many choices. I get overwhelmed and can spend way too much time going between ideas and possibilities. This can be my game for not having to take that chance, for not having to have that first time of something new. Traveling into the unknown is often painful for my ego. The first day of school, the first dance lesson, the first day off work. The list can go on and on. I also am in love with life. I love that I can do anything. I have to realize that there isn’t enough time to do everything. I need to narrow it down.

Then of course come the principles of commitment and dedication. I get over my anxiety and will try something new. It is continuing that I have a hard time with. The actual follow through seems to be beyond my grasp. I have no problem with starting and stopping. I allow my feelings to dictate and sooner or later I won’t feel like it. Perhaps this is the way it goes and eventually something will stick. We will see as I start this new blog.